Calling a Time-Out

When the momentum begins to shift to the other team and the players seem flustered, the coach calls for a quick time-out. The coach then tries to refocus the team, calm emotions, and set up the next play. Do you see where I am going with this? Have you experienced this type of emotion change in a conversation with your wife? Just the other day, Meg walked into the apartment after a long day at work and I was talking to a recruit on the phone. We have agreed not to be on the phone when we first greet each other in the evening. Giving your spouse your full attention immediately after a full day of work is as necessary as playing football with a helmet. Meg wasn’t excited about me being on the phone. I knew she would be home at 9:30. She had also asked me to finish up the dishes. I needed a time-out.

Just as I wrote several weeks ago, your wife is your treasure. She deserves your best. You wouldn’t get complacent on the field or on the court. You wouldn’t let your team continue to play rattled, when you know exactly what could help them. I write today to challenge you. Call the time-out, calm yourself, and gather your thoughts, get off the phone, before you say something you will regret. The hurt we cause our team and our wife could have an effect over the course of the rest of the season. Hold on, every marriage will have disagreements and emotions might run high, but the key is that your relationship is bigger than the issue. Remember, you two are on the same team and how you treat each other leaves either a positive and lasting legacy or a short and divided one. I’ve been taught from several great coaches that all disagreements need to occur prior to being with the team. When we walk on the field, our staff is united, just as my wife and I must be running the same play when we walk into an event or gathering of friends. Nothing can be dividing us.

Now, let’s go back to the recruiting phone call. I often ask these high school student-athletes if they feel their team is a close-knit family. Most often, the recruits that respond with a resounding ‘yes,’ are the players that play for successful programs. The sense of family is what drives them to their success. They play for each other and when the game is on the line, they believe in each other. My marriage gets attacked every day by external influences, but because I try to take the time-out and connect with Meg, we have success and we can fight through difficult circumstances. It is in those moments that victory is that much sweeter. You can experience it, but only if you are willing to call a time-out!